It is a little past 1 am, so it would be safe to say it is now Wednesday, the 31st of March. Not that the date has any particular significance, only the fact that it is today that I took the plunge and broke the ice with WordPress.com.
I shall describe the preceding 15 hours to underscore the how and why.
My day began around 10:24 am to the sound of the phone ringing insistently. Despite my finer instincts (which were a tad blurred along with my vision), I scrambled out of bed and lurched towards the phone. As luck would have it, the caller decided to hang up just as i picked up the receiver. Glancing at the caller ID confirmed my suspicions. It had been my mother-in-law.
My morning ritual these days involves reading something interesting while sipping a fortifying mug of sweet tea, which Huz (my husband) specialises in brewing. Today was different in that respect. It was I who made the tea, and in between waiting for it to brew and the inevitable power cut at 11:05, I spent a few minutes Scrabbling and Farmvilling. But today I felt my enthusiasm at an ebb. I did not want today to be like yesterday. Or the day before. Or the day before. Days which lack a creative edge, ever since I quit designing baby clothes a little less than a year ago, with the idea that I should get back to painting. Apart from a few sketches, and a renewed interest in oil painting, I haven’t really been as prolific as I would have liked, with the result that I don’t have much to show for my time. I am plagued by the nagging feeling that I don’t have the motivation to ‘really’ be an ‘artist’.
While sipping our respective mugs of tea, Huz tells me I should chuck everything and write something. That piece of advice, although it has been given frequently, struck a different chord today, a bubble of excitement rose at the idea, and I thought, yes! I will write something today! So, energised by that idea, I mulled over what I would write as I showered, changed, watered the plants, did some laundry, and sliced and marinated eggplants before cooking them.
There were a few hitches, the smallest of which being that I had forgotten my password for my account here, as it had been quite a few weeks since I activated it. The bigger hitch was rather more anxiety-inducing. Here I was, with my juices all stirred up but I confess, I didn’t have a clue what to begin my blog with, and stared at the screen for a long time, heart doing palpitations every few minutes, willing inspiration to strike, until it was time to go pick up Amu (my daughter) from school. I drove, came back home, made a healthy salad for us and scrambled eggs on toast for Amu, who I knew would not be too enthusiastic about a salad involving eggplants.
Afternoon turned to evening, I had written something and rejected it, and instead of going for a walk in the park I stayed at home and read a few blogs by Susan Orlean, including the first she wrote. She talked about her reasons for writing a blog, the need to jot down random observations about people, places and things, things you can’t really publish anywhere as they are not clearly defined, or even long enough,(she is an established contributor to the New Yorker and a very active Twitterer); that got me thinking about my own motivations, which in actual fact are very similar to Susan’s. It felt like a breakthrough to be presented with my own thoughts, and I finally felt articulate enough to jot down my own intro. And on that very positive note, I went out to have dinner at Roasters with Huz and Amu at exactly 7:47 pm, chirpy because we were celebrating not just Amu’s great score in her math test (19.5 out of 20!) or Huz’s breakthrough in programming (something achieved after 3 days of intense work) but also the birth of the blogger in me.
We watched Idol for 2 hours, and I wasted some more time Farmvilling and Scrabbling, until my laptop protested by getting overheated. I switched it off at 12 pm to give it a rest, and went off to hang out the washing on the line in the courtyard downstairs, and ironed Amu’s uniform for school.
It is now 3 am, later even by my own standards but I think I can sleep now. I have finally written my first blog.