Of insecurity, kids, a school bus, and responsibility.

Perhaps it is an indictment of our times, that there is now barbed wire, raised walls, huge concrete slabs near the gates and a gunman on the roof. Fire drills have given way to bomb drills at the old campus.

After the terrorist attack on a university in Islamabad in October 2009, panic and fear gripped the hearts and minds of school administrations AND parent bodies alike. I can only speak for Karachi, since I live here, but I would imagine there being a similar scenario in all the major cities of Pakistan.

This was terrorism taken to an all-new level, a hitherto uncharted one. There was a mad scramble for an appropriate response, resulting in the mass fortification of virtually all the prominent schools and colleges in the city.

Speaking of the school Amu goes to, located in the heart of the busiest commercial district of Karachi, the transformation of the boundary wall of a century-old institution makes my heart sink everytime I see it. The iron-grill gate through which you could see the quaint bougainvillea-covered archway in the distance, and children milling about at home-time is a thing of the past. Now there’s a tall wooden impervious gate, with a heavily garrisoned sidegate through which anyone wishing to enter or leave the school must pass. The friendly chowkidar who knew everyone, has been replaced by several uniformed security guards, who check for school ID cards, and give our purses the once-over with a scanning device. The sidewalk outside the school has been roped off, so pedestrians are forced to walk on the road. Everyone is suspect. Even the alleged parents of the kids in the school!

But far be it from me to bore you with details of the security situation in the city, the larger bane of our existence. I am here today to talk about something called Bus Duty…..which is a tiny speck on a microcosmic level, as far as banes of existence go.

AN EXPLANATION

A bunch of parents from the school parent body put their heads together and came up with a plan to simplify their own lives, and consequently, the lives of a bigger bunch of parents. The result? An answer to all our commuting problems in this busy trafficky city around home-time, and the reduction of a considerable number of cars on the streets. The answer, dear friends, is a privately chartered bus system.

Now this is no ordinary bus system. It is not monitored by the school, but by the parents themselves. The idea is simple enough you’d say….but there’s a catch…

Every parent whose child is fortunate enough to get on the bus MUST VOLUNTEER FOR BUS DUTY!

The basic premise of bus duty is, and this stems from the first sentence of this post, that the bus our children ride in to and from school should never be unsupervised. Anything can happen in this unpredictable city to a bus full of kids, and though an unarmed, untrained-for-combat-parent might be an unsuitable match for armed kidnappers, or a crazed suicide bomber, or a street riot gone amok, at least they can save the kids from themselves. Or so we think.

I’ll skip the details of how the system works, and how the coordinators (yours truly being one) manage to make rosters, distribute them AND make sure the designated parent turns up for duty in the morning AND the afternoon, as well as pay up for the service on time. Fast-forward to one day every month where I myself have to be the parent on board…

Being a closet anthropologist, (an uncertified one at that), riding on a bus full of 12-13 yr olds provides great opportunities for observing the behavioural patterns of these overgrown midgets. After months of careful observation, I have come to the conclusion that the male of the species are way more entertaining than the females, who prefer riding in the back of the bus and seem to be content to plug their ears with I-Pods and/or nibble nonchalantly on raspberry ice lollies, their tongues crimson with food color.

An erstwhile president’s granddaughter climbs aboard, an anonymous rider amongst civilians, and makes her way to the back with her lolly.Β The boys occupy the middle and the front and their preferred choice of snack is potato chips. The quiet boys sit in the front, out of the way of the rowdier, more vocal boys. According to Amu, none of the boys are worthy of the attention of the girls, except perhaps Naqvi, who seems to have a thing for one of the girls in the back. I hear his side-kick Byram has a secret crush on Amu. I’m thrilled to know this, since I have a secret crush on Byram, as he always greets me when he sees me and offers me a chip. He is the cutest, most polite boy on the bus, yet has the craziest sense of humour. The other day, he had somehow managed to wriggle his arms out of his sleeves, tied the sleeves to the back, and was jumping out from behind seats to try and scare the wits out of everyone who boarded the bus, as the weird armless bogey-man. Go figure. Amu just rolls her eyes, whereas I can’t stop giggling.

I take attendance and tick off names one by one, making note of the kids who weren’t present and verifying their whereabouts. The boys helpfully give me information.

As the bus rolls out of middle school, the quiet boys are absorbed in solving their Rubiks cubes. Arham is especially good at it, and I watch, enthralled, as he asks Hasan to mess it up just so he can tackle it ferociously and solve it within minutes.

Adil and Asad are embroiled in a seat fight that escalates into a water fight. I’m scared some of it will get flung my way. The driver turns around and shouts something in Pushto-accented Urdu to the tune of something like ‘Shut up and sit down!!!’, while glaring accusingly at ME, the supposedly responsible Parent On Board. Little does he know how helpless and ineffectual my protests are against the single-minded revenge-propelled rowdiness of the trouble-makers. But I’m scared the driver might become an unstable one if he flies into a rage, and when Hasham and Nisar start egging Adil and Asad to get nastier, I decide to pull the Powerful Adult card. My timid protest turns into an authoritative yell and I tell the boys to sit down IMMEDIATELY or I would be writing emails to ALL their parents telling them exactly how badly-behaved their kids were and that they would get into serious trouble if I got them kicked off the bus. I half-expected them to humiliate me in the eyes of the girls by ignoring me completely and carrying on, so imagine my surprise when they lapsed into submission. They actually looked scared!

Feeling smug, I resume the reading of my book, though I can’t focus too well due to all that mental patting myself on the back, and had to stifle my smile. The problem is, how to maintain the facade of Powerful Adult, when the chastised boys still have the ability to make me burst into chuckles at their conversation? Hasham says to the mono-browed Asad, ‘Look at your EYEbrows, dude’, to which Asad’s lightning response is, ‘Look at your FACE, dude.’

Then they launch into some conversation that I don’t bother to follow, until I hear the f-word being used repeatedly by the thug of the group, Asad. I glance towards the boys from the corner of my eye and catch Hasham’s furtive look in my direction. He whispers loudly to Asad to shut the f— up, ‘Aunty’ can hear everything. To that, I look up and reply ‘Yes, she can, and she’s going to mention the bad language in her email too!’. I look around to see if the girls were listening and am relieved to see them still in their musical states of oblivion. It seems they really couldn’t care less!

Nisar, with a macabre sense of humour quips he is an orphan, so there is no point in writing to his parents. I tell him I’d be sure to mention what he said in my email to his parents.

I continue to read my book, catching snippets of more inappropriate conversation amongst the boys, and I wonder how much of this I could interfere with. I don’t want to be a tyrannical, over-vigilant parent. But it makes me think about peer groups, and education, and how little I can protect my daughter from hearing things I’m not sure I want her to hear….at least not just yet…..from people her own age. It’s easy to see the power struggles between the boys, and the need to dominate and impress. All of them have a strong need to be accepted, the more insecure they are the harder they try, and I recognize this as I quietly observe, and the child in me empathizes. But their humour is so basic and so diabolically childish, anybody would laugh.

I know most of the parents grumble about Bus Duty and what a chore it is, but we insist it is important for the safety of our kids. I can’t help wondering though, how much we think we can protect our children from.

I have a fair suspicion the real dangers lie inside, not outside……. πŸ™‚


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15 thoughts on “Of insecurity, kids, a school bus, and responsibility.

  1. Shoaib Farooqui December 14, 2010 / 6:34 am

    good one ‘aunty’! πŸ˜›

  2. Zahra Marvi December 14, 2010 / 8:04 am

    The surveillance trip sounds like a hoot. I give it 3 Tylenol.

  3. crazygoangirl December 14, 2010 / 2:17 pm

    Great post M (may I call you M? Only coz it’s shorter :P), and as you said ‘the child’ in me empathizes πŸ™‚ Loved your description of the bus ride…I was right there with you πŸ™‚

    Oh and boys over girls for me any day (and I swear it’s not coz I have one :P) – I just find the male species easier to mange and understand. Always have. I find them much simpler and direct (anthropologically even rather Neanderthal, certainly some men!), but, and this I learnt during Medical college – they can keep a secret. All three qualities I struggle to find in women to this day!

    As for the state of security in our neck of the woods…the less said the better 😦 But I do agree that with ‘overgrown midgets’ (adored this!), as with the rest of us, the real dangers lie inside.

    Hugs, H.

    • munira's bubble December 14, 2010 / 4:02 pm

      Well of COURSE you can call me M, I call you H don’t I? πŸ˜€
      Thanks for the insight into ‘men’, as a mom of a little one, you’re definitely an authority in MY books! And you’re a doctor too?? Whoa!
      Always look forward to your comments!! πŸ™‚

  4. Farida. Ht. December 14, 2010 / 6:03 pm

    this is so true! i’ve already decided the boys in my class are a whole lot more amusing than the girls. the comments the boys make in contrast to what the girls say, sound so much more original. =p

    “Feeling smug, I resume the reading of my book, though I can’t focus too well due to all that mental patting myself on the back, and had to stifle my smile. The problem is, how to maintain the facade of Powerful Adult, when the chastised boys still have the ability to make me burst into chuckles at their conversation?”

    hahahahahahahaha!! so true!!

    • munira's bubble December 14, 2010 / 8:18 pm

      I admit I thought of you while writing about bus duty Farri πŸ˜‰ I get to interact just once a month, whereas YOU have to deal with ’em every day!
      Was waiting for you to read and comment πŸ˜€ and you agree!!! Yayyy!!

  5. GKrishnan December 15, 2010 / 4:39 pm

    Great Read. Enjoyed every line of it. Drew the chuckles and the snorts, just never grew up, I guess. Forgiven, hopefully ?

    • munira's bubble December 17, 2010 / 8:41 am

      Forgiven?? Absolutely!!
      Thank you for your comment. Made my day! πŸ˜€

  6. fatema December 19, 2010 / 6:29 am

    hahaha…good job mun..descriptively….makes me want to be on the bus too….if only to observe YOU….’ authoritative thundering aunty’..:D…..especially since i know your propensity to burst into giggles….:D..i personally have no patience for kids but your indulgent and amused observances and descriptions of them make me focus and appreciate too….the wonder that kids are….thanx for that mun….
    (p.s….and i dont mean just in this article..:)..)

  7. The gold digger January 23, 2011 / 3:12 pm

    I love the bus driver’s admonition and your threat to email the parents! My dad used to tell me the story of his uncle, who drove a school bus in Milwaukee (Wisconsin, USA). When the kids would act up, my great-uncle would pull the bus over, stop, and make the kids learn the Rosary (a Catholic prayer that is very long and boring). In German.

    If he tried that today, he would be fired because of course in this country, children cannot be chastised or disciplined at all by someone who is not their parent.

  8. transplantednorth January 29, 2011 / 1:14 pm

    Dear Munira,

    Great post! My 12 and 14 year old kids would die of embarassment if I rode on the bus with them, and I always believed that all the world’s evil was learned on the schoolbus! May no harm come to your children on their way to and from school, or ever.

    • munira's bubble February 1, 2011 / 8:55 am

      Hmm, that would explain why my daughter refuses to acknowledge me when I’m on the bus πŸ˜›
      Glad someone agrees with me about ‘evil on the schoolbus’!
      And thank you for your comment and for paying me a visit πŸ™‚

  9. sherou February 1, 2011 / 11:12 pm

    loved the post…we told sal that i could sign up as a volunteer substitute teacher for french in school and he cringed at the idea of it. he would rather die than have me in school and that too in his class!

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