Mother’s Day, in retrospect.

So yesterday was Mother’s Day and here’s my two-bit for what it’s worth.

There’s been a flurry of posts and related articles, not to mention radio shows and TV shows on the subject…people debating whether or not said day should be celebrated. Some glorify their mothers and quote sappy sayings ad nauseum, declaring their love for all the world to see or maybe they’re just saying it cos’ everybody else seems to be doing it. No doubt they mean it too!

It started a few days ago when everyone began changing their profile pictures on Facebook to one of their mom’s. It was kinda weird to see a woman’s picture with a man’s name next to it. Those of my girl friends who look a lot like their moms left me confused for a second, but not to be left behind, I hopped on to the bandwagon and put up a picture of my Mummy. It was fun! I ended up confusing a lot of people too πŸ™‚

It’s true though, all my adult life I have had people exclaim and tell me how much I look like a younger version of my mother. It’s rough hearing things like that when the last person you want to turn into is your mom. *mock horror*

When you’re one of four daughters, every one of you will have a different relationship with your mother. My eldest sister has the dubious honour of being the firstborn, hence has all the personality traits that go with being the eldest sibling. My youngest sister was born 12 years after the first and has, true to tradition, always been a brat. The middle two, of which I am one, didn’t know what was expected of them so we played it safe and behaved like middle children should. Reasonably. But all my life I have been accused of being my mom’s favourite, maybe cos’ it slipped out of the horse’s mouth one day. The biggest manifestation of being the favourite was being home-schooled for the first six years of my life. The Montessori system had just been introduced in Karachi and Mummy got to learn of the methods of teaching. Don’t ask me how. She just did. I hear she made a lot of flash cards and stuff and proceeded to experiment on my brain. If only I had known what she was up to, I’m sure I would have felt like a guinea pig. Sadly, I have no recollection of all the trouble my mother went through to teach me alphabets and words using pictures, but perhaps it was a result of her efforts that I fared better at school than my predecessors. πŸ˜‰

When we were growing up, we didn’t get showered with hugs or kisses. We weren’t a very touchy feely family. We were fed and clothed and bathed and de-flead and put through school and could do whatever the heck we wanted, as long as we allowed ourselves to be dragged to the masjid and agreed to pray namaaz and read the Quran. Β Mom was always busy cooking in the mornings and always had hot meals waiting for us when we got back, ravenous, from school, after which she pretended we didn’t exist and set to work with demon-like determination on all her various pursuits, only taking a break from it if one of us needed a haircut. Or a birthday party.

But to get back to Mother’s Day, I really don’t see why anyone would NOT want to celebrate it. There are those who say things like ‘oh, mothers should be made to feel special every day, not just one designated day a year.’ What a load of crock.

The fact is, NO ONE makes their mother feel special every day. We take our moms for granted. That’s just how we roll, my friend. It’s the nature of the relationship. Goes with the territory, like it or not.

I love my mother, always have, always will, and I’m not ashamed to say that I feel rather silly saying it. Because THAT goes with the territory too. My mother is opinionated and is extremely good at getting her own way, and she bugs the hell out of me most times. That’s the reality of it. As for all that she has done for me all my life, I can’t really say I feel grateful. I just feel entitled! That’s what parents are SUPPOSED to do! It’s give and take really. Kids give parents the pleasure of their company, parents take care of the kids. It’s win-win all the way. Imagine how lonely our parents would be if we weren’t there. Actually, it’s US they should be grateful for! There should be a day for US!

Seriously though, it’s only after getting married and having her own family that a woman realizes just how much she must do, and how thanklessly. We’re basically unsung heroes, even if I say so myself (on behalf of all mothers.) I shall leave the specifics to your imagination. (Hint: think…1) pregnancy/labour; 2) diapers; 3) cracked nipples. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.)

So my point is, by all means, be good to your mothers. Love them in your own way, whether you hug them or not, declare your love, or not. You don’t need me to tell you that, so I’ll shut up. But I’ll tell you this. Mother’s day is here to stay. So If you don’t do something specifically nice for her that day, it’s bound to hurt. Don’t underestimate the power of a present. Something you just KNOW your mother will love. It may just be a token, or it may be just another thing you do for her amongst the other things you do for her all year round. But why ignore the celebration of it, just because you’re against the principle of it? Being against a principle is a principle too. And it’s just idiotic. Does that soundΒ opinionated? I can’t help it, I get it from my Mom πŸ˜€


  1. Well said. Much can be said for Dad’s Day too. There’s a lot that goes with the territory. πŸ™‚
    PS Like the new-look page too.

  2. Glad you get my drift πŸ™‚ And thanks! As for putting you on my blogroll, I like the feeling of community it creates and I love the idea of having a bunch of blogger friends that I can count on to visit me…perhaps leave a thoughtful comment…being fun to read is also a plus, and you definitely are. πŸ˜‰

  3. Xeemarmar says:

    wow !!! very opinionated indeed! love it!

  4. Mufaddal says:

    Hey Munira, wise words indeed and i took my mom a day earlier for icecream thinking that mother’s day was a day earlier than it actually was, anyhow the next day ACTUAL mothers day took ammi abbu and khala for dinner, icecream and pan. with a whole tour of karachi :D. And i am one of those who believe each day is a mothers day πŸ˜› πŸ˜€

    1. Ziada over nai honay ka! Lol πŸ˜€

      1. Anonymous says:

        oh darn i have not mentioned something in the excitement as i typed it on my phone πŸ™‚ i was so engrossed in reading the article that i was reading it on my china phone πŸ˜€ and commented and so i forgot to mention “munira apa”

        ashamed smile :/

        awesome post though

        1. Mun says:

          That’s okay, I don’t stand on formalities πŸ™‚ Thanks for the comment Mufaddal! I’m glad you take such good care of your mommy πŸ™‚

  5. Maryam Sadriwala says:

    I love the way you write! There’s no simpler way to say thia and i know i repeat myself when i say this. Keep writing and keep inspiring Xeemarmar!

    1. Thanks!! It gladdens my soul every time!! πŸ˜€
      And don’t worry, I’m most happy to oblige πŸ˜‰

  6. sherou says:

    I loved this piece and I totally agree. For those lazy souls out there, I think all should make the effort albeit maybe out of guilty conscience but everyone should take one day out to not take Ma for granted!

    1. Hallelujah! Then it is a job well done πŸ™‚

  7. fatemah says:

    lovely read munira, its always fun reading your entertaining and apt monologues πŸ™‚ look forward to the next one.

    1. Mun says:

      Happy to entertain! Thanks fatemah! πŸ™‚ Do come back…it would be nice to have a dialogue going πŸ˜‰

  8. ROFL!!! How I wish I had written this myself!! But never mind, you’ve said everything I would have and so much better πŸ˜€ Oh and now that I know you had to be de-flead, our soul-sistership has been cemented unto eternity πŸ˜› My Mom still feels the need to de-flea me, only now I can run faster than she can πŸ˜‰

    Oh and we do have a day don’t we, although come to think of it, I’ve never seen parents celebrate Children’s Day, only children!! See…ungrateful creatures πŸ˜›

    1. Mun says:

      Hahahahaha!!!! Thankfully I don’t get joos in my head anymore, though I used to LOVE it when my mom took them out for me. She enjoyed it too πŸ˜€ Every time she’d be watching tv, she’d get one of us to come and lie down on the couch next to her with our head in her lap and she’d trawl her fingertips over our scalps searching for the eggs (sounds pretty gross put that way!) It was such a moment of triumph when she’d pull a fat one out and then smash it between her thumbnails!! πŸ˜€

      Thanks H, my posts are incomplete without your comments. Hugs!!

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