It has now been a few months over a year since I started blogging, and as usual, I let an anniversary go by unmarked. Couldn’t be bothered to make a fuss I suppose.
I can’t really recall why I started this blog, only that Huz egged me into it. It’s not that I think of myself as a big fat writer or anything. Just big and fat perhaps. But that’s probably my body dysmorphia manifesting itself…
I guess I started writing to have something to do with my time. Not that I’m an idle person, that wouldn’t be true…
I do a lot of stuff that doesn’t exactly have anything to do with ‘making a living’. Which makes me wonder, is making a living the only thing that substantiates one’s life? What gives a ‘working’ person superiority over a ‘non-working’ person? Does the fact that I’m a ‘non-working’ person make me, in fact, a ‘non-working’ person?
‘What is it that you do?’, I’m often asked, and frankly, this question always stumps me. I usually start babbling some nonsense or other so as to baffle the questioner, when all I really want to do is punch the person in the face. The reason, I suppose, is because I hate being categorized. I don’t want to be one thing or another. Just because I’m someone’s wife and don’t go out to work doesn’t make me a ‘housewife’.
Yes, I am a wife. Yes, I am a mom. No, I don’t have a job. But a lady of leisure? Hell no.
I digress from my original train of thought, but I find I have ventured into saying something else that needs to be said. But I’ll get back to that later. First, let me make the point I was trying to make.
No, I’m not an aspiring writer. I just did well in English Language at school, and enjoyed writing essays. A lot. And I enjoyed reading. A lot.
So I’m doing now, what I used to love doing when I was way younger, and with no desire to take it any further than what and where it is. Does that make me unambitious?
I’m really glad to have a bunch of people (you guys who’re reading this!) who read what I have to say….some of you respond to me and leave a comment, or ‘like’ what I write, which gratifies me no end.
But writing this blog had nothing to do with ‘improving’ myself, or my style of writing or whatever. I just said what I felt needed to be said. Nothing earth-shattering or anything. Just, you know, stuff that I felt like articulating somewhere convenient. So, if a friend tells me, ‘Hey, I like your blog…you’ve really improved from the stuff you wrote earlier’, I’m left with mixed feelings. On the one hand I feel warm and fuzzy….on the other, I feel kinda let down.
I never wrote to be judged for my writing. Any comments like that just leave me feeling hollow, and a bit offended. I never asked for an opinion!
Then again, isn’t that what a blog is about? Aren’t my musings up for inspection?
Phew, okay now, my point has been made. See? Nothing earth-shattering at all.
So to get back to that other train of thought, no, I don’t consider myself to be a ‘housewife’. And I’m definitely not an ‘aunty’, though that’s what Amu’s friends call me, something that took a while getting used to. Does that mean I’m in denial?
I won’t bother answering that, and neither should you, if you know what’s good for you 😉
The fact is, there are a lot of things I do, which I don’t let anyone else do for me. I cook, I drive, I wash, I sew, I garden, I move heavy furniture, I paint, I write, I visit, I do groceries, and a whole bunch of things that glue our tiny little household together. And through all these things that I do (that I don’t get paid for…but I should!) I try to find time to do some fun things too. I get tired though. I love my alone time. I like to sit some place quiet and just…think. Look at my plants. Admire the sky. Think of ways to prettify the house. I don’t always appreciate being invited out, because it makes me stop doing all the things I do to pay attention to how I look, my hair, my clothes, my face, and it makes me think, life is a lot of work.
It makes me think, one works, just to stay on top of things, and in the end is known only as someone who doesn’t….you know….’work’.
i love you and everything that you do! you put my thoughts into words!
The feeling is entirely mutual, love! Mwah!
very very interesting :)….i would rather say i am a non working person 😛
You say you’re anonymous, but I know it’s you Muf 🙂
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…So you finally said what needed to be said Mun….. i loved reading this and as Far said, u put mine and your long felt and talked about amongst ourselves thoughts, into words. Everything you have said rings so familiar and true .
Yup…it’s out of the closet now 😉
All I’m saying is Hip Hip Hurrah for us non-workers!!!!!!!!!!! Love you M 😀
I second that!!! Love you more H 😀
I’ll take time off from all the stuff that needs doing to make a comment of this blog BECAUSE I have recently left my humble abode from being someone who you know… doesn’t work, to be part of those who supposedly do.
The American feel good term for ‘Housewife’ is ‘Homemaker’, a very powerful position. The psychologist, the therapist and the peacekeepers (another favorite term) give credit or blame to the home. Making a house into a home is no easy task.
So my dear, take the term ‘HOMEMAKER’ and wear it with pride. From one who recently flew the nest, I like it here but I loved it there.
Aaargh!!! Not a homemaker!! Can’t use that word either I’m afraid…once again, it is too definitive 😛
Nothing against homemakers though, or housewives for that matter, it’s just that there’s no avoiding the prefix ‘just a..’ before either of those words. And I don’t even think of myself as a homemaker.
And if someone tells me they’re a psychologist, or a teacher, or a doctor or anything for that matter, I can’t see them as being defined by just one of the roles they play, just one of the occupations they throw themselves in to stay gainfully employed.
If I had to support myself I’d find some way to do it, because if anything, I pride myself on being able to do things.
But kudos to you for exploring another part of yourself AA! Love what you’re doing now 🙂
being a hyper bunny , i view work as something contructive to show for the passage of time……in other words..gainful occupation..:D….so whatever category of ‘ work ‘ it may be…renumerative or non-renumerative:D….one should be left with a sense of peace and accomplishment……but then thats just me..:D
…life and survival is a hell of a lot of work !!!!
good job mun!..i really enjoyed reading this one…its so you…and very much farri too!….being privy to your life i know where all this stems from and so makes it a meaningful read for me..:)…hugz
I agree wholeheartedly with you Fatu..! There’s a lot of peace and accomplishment in my life too, so it’s not just you 😉
And you aren’t just privy to my life…you’re a huge part of it. Thanks for being there ❤ And thanks for helping me drag the shoe cabinet downstairs, and painting those mirrors. You're a highly useful woman to have around 😉 hehehe
Interesting post, Mun….and I can empathise from the other gender side. Your job/occupation is something that identifies you to other people when the social chit-chat starts and allows them to pin you down in some box or other that they can understand. Now, me, I am a non-worker too since we took the conscious decision to focus on my wife’s career not mine. So, I never profer my “status” in conversation. I leave it hanging until they can control themselves no longer and say “Just what is that YOU do, Al ?” This happened, as it always does, on holiday recently (you’ve seen the post). I gave my best answer yet …”I keep the show on the road.” I was pleased with that one. “Renaissance Man” usually phases them more. 🙂
Thanks for the comment Single Malt, I appreciate the view from the other side. It’s a thorny subject but….’I keep the show on the road’… hahaha, that’s fantastic! Send ’em reeling I say! 😀
You’re right, we need to come up with ever more creative ways of defining ourselves without really defining anything. Vagueness. That’s the order of the day. If you can’t punch’em, confound the hell out of ’em!
I, for one, am convinced they’re all secretly jealous of us 😉
I’m glad, Munira, that I went from your previous post also to this one. It is very, very interesting and thought provoking. A lot of it applies to me or would have applied to me when I was younger. I also read quite a few of the comments and your replies.
As you know I chose as my blog name ‘auntyuta’, I think it eventuated because it was my niece who suggested that I could do blogging. I have only one niece who never addresses me as ‘Aunty’. Now in the bloggerworld I am ‘Aunty’ to a lot of people. It sometimes feels a bit strange to be called this. Being 78 people could call me perhaps ‘Grandma’ but this would feel strange too at times!
I think I am a bit like you in that I have ambivalent feelings about a lot of things.
It’s somewhat strange that in the real world nobody ever addresses me as ‘Aunty’. A lot of people call me Mum or Mama or Grandma. My Australian friends usually call me just ‘Uta’. And German speaking people, for instance my husband, usually insist on calling me ‘Ute’. (In Australia ‘ute’ is called a utility car!)
Hubby did get up now. Have to cook breakfast! Cheerio, ‘Aunty’ Uta.
That was an interesting bit of information regarding your blogging name ‘Aunty’ Uta! Really loved your comment! 😀
My best regards to Hubby!
Thanks for this, Munira. 🙂
Actually, it’s his birthday today, 16th May!
Under his blogname (berlioz) his is later on to post
something about the 16th of May.