Fuzzy vs Mini (part 1)

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Fuzzy after a bath does not look quite as voluminous, in fact he looks downright weird. Was that why Mini did a double take when he trotted into the kitchen to find his food bowl? Was it because she couldn’t place the new smell of wet rug and a hint of shampoo?

Mini was near the food bowls when she caught sight of Fuzzy approaching. I had my eye on her and was about to pick her up and whisk her away to another room, but hell broke loose so fast my reflexes stood no chance.

There was a low, menacing, animal sound and I couldn’t tell which cat it was coming from. It seemed to be a part of the atmosphere of the kitchen. Mini looked like she had just caught her own reflection in the mirror, hair standing on end, back arched, ears rolled back. Fuzzy’s body language was that of a lion about to jump on his prey.

They attacked each other simultaneously it seemed. Mini should have run and hid under something, but she stayed her ground and fought.

Flashback to 1980. Nine year old me, trying to intervene in a cat fight on behalf of Noni, my first cat. Noni was so worked up he sank his teeth into my hand to get me to let go of him so he could chase the other cat before it got away. I still remember how the shock of that bite made me nauseous; I threw up in my mother’s aunt’s sink and when I looked up into the mirror, my chocolate-brown face looked gray.

‘O shit o shit o shit o shit’ was all I could say as Fuzzy and Mini grappled, flesh memory from 1980 preventing me from putting my hands in the line of fire. Below is not a video of Mini and Fuzzy’s epic battle, but it will create a suitable ambience as you read on.

I could not believe this terrifying scene was unfolding right in front of my eyes in my own house. Mini soon realized she could not defend herself against Fuzzy’s strength and I suppose her anxiety made her lose control of her bowels. She couldn’t help pooping as the fight continued. I shouted to Huz to come help while helplessly pleading with the cats to stop it stop it stop it! There was poop and pee everywhere and the freshly bathed Fuzzy and Mini were both rolling around in it. Huz finally managed to get Fuzzy to withdraw a bit, using a towel to swat at them and a long-handled broom to nudge Fuzzy into an enclosed corridor. Meanwhile, a dazed and frightened-out-of-her-wits, poop-covered Mini dashed off to hide behind the curtains

It had been a long day full of chores, I was exhausted, palpitating, and my hands were shaking. But the house was a disaster and it took an hour to clean up not just the area where the fight took place but the entire trail of Mini’s trajectory as she shot to safety. The poor little thing had to be bathed as well, and that too with cold water as there was no hot water and no time to heat it on the stove. But I dried her off fast and she hid under Amu’s bed thereafter.

Then it was Fuzzy’s turn to be cleaned up again, and I couldn’t help cursing myself for being in such a stupid situation. Stressed and full of despair, with no clue how to deal, my brain filled with conflicted thoughts. On the one hand there was Fuzzy, who couldn’t be sent away or abandoned despite the problems he created. On the other there was little Mini, whose future was clouded in uncertainty whether she stayed or not.

Huz, being the clear-headed problem-solver, saw only one path of action. Mini must go.

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6 thoughts on “Fuzzy vs Mini (part 1)

  1. Heather March 4, 2015 / 4:06 pm

    As I was reading of the fight, I thought: “Yep, I’ve seen this cat fight.” (You have a brother and sister from the same litter for nearly 15 years and you’ll see some hair fly…) And then I got to the poop part. I’m so sorry. But I’m also laughing a little 😉
    You might consider investing in a spray bottle. We keep two or three of them around the house, not set to spray a nice mist like you’d just for cleaning. Set them up to fire a water jet. Gives you reach and will stop unwanted behavior without anyone getting hurt.
    Waiting for the next installment 🙂

    • Munira March 4, 2015 / 10:20 pm

      See? Told you I’d make you laugh, not cry 😉 Funnily enough, we do keep a spray bottle around and now that you mention, it was even used during the fight! To no effect, I may add 😛 Fuzzy even had a fight with bete-noire the other day and I was spraying them with a HOSE for heavens sake and they refused to break it up! Silly cats. What has my life come to I ask?

      • Heather March 5, 2015 / 3:24 pm

        Maybe you need a more powerful hose 😉

  2. Anonymous March 5, 2015 / 4:09 am

    OMG!! is all I can say.

  3. Single Malt Monkey March 5, 2015 / 3:39 pm

    YOU CAN BATH BOTH CATS? ! Anyway, I think you need my Mother-In-Law. I swear she’s a cat whisperer. She sorted ours out when we had two. I’ll put her on the next plane.

    • Munira March 6, 2015 / 6:57 am

      I need me a kindly mother-in-law like that. She could be my mentor in cat-whispering and together we could go pro in Karachi and make heaps of moneys.

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