On the edges

The moon is a 71.4% waning gibbous and supposed to have risen at 21:50 pm tonight, but it wasn’t visible yet even at 22:25. The sole beautiful cumulonimbus cloud of the earlier evening sky had given way to a whole fleet of poofy ones. I climbed up to the top of the water tank as Molly and little Scruffy looked on anxiously, all bright-eyed and pointy-eared vigilance. They soon joined me there, Molly curled up at my feet and little Scruffy hell bent on smothering me with her (ever-welcome) love. I lay down on my back for an unhampered view of the panorama around and over my head.

Sunset today was marked by a red sun in a hazy sky, nothing to reflect the last rays save for the aforementioned cumulonimbus, the poofy top of which turned increasingly neon shades of pink , capitivating all our attention. To my great surprise, there was a sudden flash of lightning within it, followed by more every 15 seconds or so. I had never witnessed anything like this before. The show went on for a good half hour as we sipped ilaichi chai in awe.

pic courtesy my dear Amu

Lying on top of the water tank, visualizing my body being earthed even on a concrete surface 30 feet above, I seamlessly slipped back into the otherworldly realm where I’m infinitely more attuned. Thoughts float through my head like the clouds above, city lights twinkling, an awareness of other lives, parallel universes playing out like stories all around. Where is the moon?

I ignore the mosquitoes and the threat of dengue, running my hands over my arms and exposed feet while little Scruffy grabbed my thumbs to give them a thorough grooming. Her tongue is rough while her fur is unbelievably soft, and I am overcome by so much love for her, so much gratitude for her presence. I tell her she is so very beautiful and I love her ever so much, and she responds by sticking close and looking up at me and I can tell she would totally lick my entire face if I would let her.

I sit up and look all around. I feel like I’m the same awareness I was when I was 9 years old , in a similar position on a distant long-ago rooftop. Nothing has changed, though everything has. Is this what I’m here for? To gaze at the sky and the wonder of it all…..because it feels like it would be a life well spent, just witnessing miracles and beauty.

There must be a word for someone who feels lost if she doesn’t have access to the expanse above her.. who feels grief for the loss of starry nights , thanks to electricity and the loss of true darkness.

I’ll miss all this love once we move out, cos’ I can’t take all the grown up siblings with me. They belong here, together, safe on this rooftop where they’ve grown up.

I stroke little Scruffy’s head and say a little prayer for her well-being, and wonder if she’ll miss me as much as I will.

8 Comments

  1. st. ranger says:

    Perhaps another strand of Nature Deficit Disorder.

    P.S. Scruffy knows.

    Like

  2. auntyuta says:

    Reblogged this on AuntyUta and commented:
    Dear Munira: It is good that you have Molly and little Scruffy! 🙂
    Love, Uta from Australia 🙂

    Like

    1. Munira says:

      ❤ 🙂 🙂

      Like

    1. Munira says:

      ❤ 🙂

      Like

  3. Eddie says:

    I loved the specificity of the first few lines of how hyper aware you are about the exact timing and all and then that transition to that outward realm.

    I love how you describe the moment in its stagnancy and all the happenings of it.

    The last bit was touching and melancholic. Indeed it is hard to move out.

    This was a warm read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Munira says:

      Thank you! I have to say I’m really enjoying the attentiion with which you are reading my posts, and the thoughtfulness with which you consider the subject. There is often a lot of grief mixed up in my day to day, and I’m the kind of person who likes to sit with her feelings. Lately I’ve been thinking it might be the purpose of my life to make my feelings known, to show my vulnerabilities, and thus allow/encourage others to show theirs too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Eddie says:

        I wouldnt read it any other way. 🙂 I m glad that you are coming close to your own purpose in life and through ur expression, enabling others along the way to be ok in their vulnerabilities. Kudos

        Like

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